Procrastination

I cannot fathom what is the matter with me. Before the course books came I was so hyped for Tesol and ready to complete the whole lot in a couple of weeks and be...GONE. Now I find I can barely lift the cover (that's if I can find the books at all).

Firstly, it has to be studying alone...by distance, whatever. It is quite desperate at the best of times but in this case (in comparison to my 3 previous experiences of study via distance), the college really have abandoned me to my own devices. There are no online or phone tutorials (although there is a tutor I can contact via email. She is in Melbourne, I think). There is no 'Blackboard' or virtual learning environment where I might interact with other students. There is no schedule for learning and actual checkups as per the Gaelic course with Sabhal Mor Ostaig.

It's just me and these bloody books...and don't get me started on them! FRUSTRATING! It feels like there should be a second book to explain the first. There are huge gaps in information - and I am a bloody English teacher! A few activities I've worked through so far have been so sparsely explained I've actually had to email the course tutor - unheard of in the history of saoghalbeag studying!

I think it is also difficult because I am not based in a school to be able to apply the learning - or even to assess the learners themselves and comprehend where they are coming from.

There is also the one parent family procrastination. I find it impossibly hard to knuckle down for real study when she is around. I know I am going to be interrupted the minute I start so I don't. Start. I do everything else possibly possible before I start the TESOL - which means it usually starts around 4pm when there are no toddler programs on telly to distract her and she's starting to get tired and cranky and hungry and then I decide I should probably bath her and start dinner anyway...but by this stage I am getting desperate to at least do SOMETHING of the course so instead I persevere. I also feel guilty that here I am learning how to make learning fun for other people when I can't even find a spare minute to work on an activity with her. So I will make a cake with her or make a mess with paint and glue, or go into the garden...

We now have a fully landscaped and manicured front yard thanks to TESOL.

Something about nothing...

We haven't left yet >sigh<.

Still in the land of Oz, still working through my Cert IV in TESOL (towards which I have a disturbing lack of motivation...).

I have discovered that as I have a teaching degree, I have 2 options for jobs - international schools or English language schools. The first are mostly expat kids and very good money. The others don't pay quite as well but involve teaching local kids, which is what I am interested in. Although at this point lots of money sounds great because I have...

NONE!

It is starting to freak me out a wee bit, mainly because nothing seems to be on the horizon to change this empty coffers situation.

My casual job has peetered out to nothing - my final tour was last week (oh, I also resigned - long story don't ask but there was no further work really for the rest of the year anyway) and it's final term here so supply teaching is limited. I have my first day ALL term coming up in two weeks time - so it's a dire situation.

So I have been trying and TRYING to find a solution work-wise for the period from now until January (which was our EDD) but strangely enough things keep going cockeyed. I had a couple of positive phone calls for jobs on the Coast and thought we might move in with my grandmother to keep her company and save money etc (also short term so a rental would be hard to organise), but she went into hospital right as I was about to ask her if we could stay ... perhaps she guessed??? Another family member offered us a room but now the jobs may have fallen through...argh!

In the meantime I am thinking...(not always a good thing!) What if we looked into jobs NOT abroad for a spell (say, 6 months), which would give us a chance to save money, rent the house out before we left the country, practice living 'away from home' and also give me some relevant experience prior to trying to secure a job OS?

So I have emailed NT schools and another organisation that runs literacy projects in Cape York...both sound really interesting (working with kids from Indigenous backgrounds) and would be incredible experiences in their own right, buuuuut...I feel like I am wimping out AGAIN and finding more excuses not to leave. Don't get me wrong - oh, I still want to leave...desperately. But dreaming and doing are two different cats. Leaving is scary...maybe a job a little closer to home would make it easier to go further away? Plus there's the lack of funds...I feel awfully more apprehensive planning a sojourn in Asia with $20 in the bank than I might if I had a few thousand dollars.

I even emailed some hostels in New Zealand about working there over the Summer - a couple of them had links to English language schools or classes and I thought that it might be a fun way to start the RTW, but so far my emails have been met with SILENCE - more on that in another post as it has intensely irritated me. It is SO rude. And why don't they want me???

So...a lot of something about nothing because we still haven't set off. So far my CV has done more travelling than I have but I am ready to go. I just spent 7 days landscaping my front yard and this week I am planning to start the BIG JUNK CULL of all our ... junk! So, stay tuned for that exciting development!