To balance - a good book

A long time ago, in uni, or perhaps even the end of high school, I remember a very short friend of mine (not that her height has anything to do with this...) spending a very long time (but that was neat!) reading a very thick book...

I think it may have been part of our English curriculum as my recollections of the film are all stop start and broken images which usually indicates that the film was "studied" (ie: mercilessly destroyed of any chance to be appreciated by mad English teacher with a remote). The only part I really remembered from the film (which may actually indicate that even WORSE than "stop-starting" the teacher only let us watch "segments"...god how that used to irritate me!). I can't imagine...oh, forgot to say the part. It was the beginning, where the girl is forced to marry/sleep with someone she doesn't want to and she runs away.

Anyway, I can't imagine that it was on the school reading list. I would have read it as I did not start skipping the reading of books until uni - ironically when I started my English literature degree, so outcome achieved by the uni!

Anyway, Katherine carried this book around for so long that it is forever associated in my mind, with her. A while back I found it on special for a few dollars and I bought it...but despite being a confessed bookworm/nerd/avid reader, it has sat on my shelf for well over a year. It is just so frikken THICK!

However, all this talk of teaching English overseas and possibly going to Asia reminded me of the book. Plus I am trying to cut down on my consumption of murders and crime shows, which is all that seems to be on TV at the moment (I am watching City Homicide, Bones, The Strip, Taggart, Rebus, The Bill, Midsomer Murders (which I swore I'd never watch!) and probably some others I can't even recall...sad, sad, sad!). The only show outside this genre is Shameless, which although possibly the most brilliant show ever made, is pretty much all about crime (drugs, prostitution, underage drinking, child neglect, welfare fraud...)

So I read it and it is brilliant. An amazing book - why did I not read it before? Although I am glad I did not as I may not have been as receptive to learning about Chinese culture as I am now that it is a possible home for us next year. It is so insightful into the Communist regime that I understand why it was on our English reading list (in fact I can feel the English teacher rising up inside of me shouting "YES! Put that one on the list!" and I even had a few scary moments of imaging activities to convey the lessons in the book to students...argh!)

The book was a bit of an epiphany to me. If I can speak in the language of my CHC lecturers, it produced a paradigm shift, altered my worldview. It made me feel like a lazy fat Australian slob and I admit that when I see people who have Asian features in the street or the shops (not so common in Noobah but I do get out of this town sometimes!) I can feel myself perceiving them in an entirely different way. I don't want to sound like Tamara but I really was a bit like her in terms of thinking about Asia and travel in that region. Blind, ignorant and awfully condescending. My heritage is in Europe and since travelling there my future is there also, but I that is no excuse for being ignorant of the rest of the world. I think because of the vast numbers of people living in the Asian regions, as well as (what I think is) dehumanisation of them in our media (ie: desensitising us: thousands die in an earthquake in Thailand and it is glossed over UNLESS there happens to be a 'westerner' in the rubble).

I don't want to speak too soon as I don't actually have a job lined up yet, but it is feeling like deciding to go to Asia next year was a good decision, or even the 'right road for us to be on' if you want to get all freaky like that.

Books that are not worth reading

FYI - so you do not have to suffer as I have:

'Bad Karma' by Tamara Sheward.

UGH.

She deserves bad karma. One of the most irritating books of all time. I should have known by the awful prologue but her ignorance was so profound I foolishly read on, thinking that at any moment I would turn the page and enjoy her downfall and finally her epiphany (ie: when she wakes up and realises what a dopey, annoying, arrogant, self-absorbed ignoramus she really is).

Sadly, I am now at page 281, desperately trying to find the strength to finish the bloody thing so I can destroy it (oh, how I wish. Sadly it is a library copy and I have to return it in 'good as' condition. Actually it is worth the $20 fine to burn the bloody thing...)

For the first couple of months of our travels in the UK we were so green it is embarrassing even to ponder the memories. A few pub humiliations, a tour guide who put us in our place and a local job with local mates soon set us straight. Naturally we continued to make cultural errors (like the time I got into an argument trying to assert that nobody in Scotland had a washing line because it rained too much while out the window behind me was a load of washing flapping...ON A LINE) but we did assume some AND I am proud to say it was not long before we stopped comparing everything to Australia and (for myself at least) I can safely say I soon preferred the way things were in Scotland and couldn't give a rats about the fact they wash their dishes in a plastic tub instead of the sink, put vinegar on their chips and have rain that blows sideways for 300 days of the year...

I suppose we were fortunate that we were a) not in London and b) not surrounded by other Australians. It gave us a chance to lose our cultural arrogance and "go native".

This became apparent while we were working under the table in Kyleakin where busloads of Antipodeans, fresh from their 2 year stint in Earl's Court and doing the obligatory tour of the rest of the British Isles before returning home to 'real life' in Australia, would unload each night at sunset. It was reinforced a year later when my sister and I unwittingly booked seats on a bus tour of Ireland with 30 of the bastards...but that's for another time.

Back to Tamara: she is probably worse than the above, because she recognises that these obnoxious twits exist, but then goes on to behave in much the same way: moaning about local customs and culture, refusing to eat different food, complaining about everyone they meet, smoking in totally inappropriate places. And the ADJECTIVES. God, she just goes on and on and on and on and on and on...ARGH. It makes my brain hurt trying to read. And it is the WORST kind of writing - you can tell what she is writing is simply not true.

I had to go online the other night simply to google "Tamara Sheward = crap writer" and make sure that SOMEBODY out there agreed with me. My sister called me a cybernerd but boy it felt good to see that others felt the same way, and here are a few who agree with me:

http://www.perceptivetravel.com/issues/0108/books.html

http://audreyapple.blogspot.com/2006_05_01_archive.html

and here is Audrey again (I think) keeping up the good fight:

http://battlecat.net/2006/12/08/a-review-of-cloud-atlas/

There was another very inspiring negative review but damn it, I can't find it.

I think it was the cultural insensitivity that really got me. I was continually thinking: who the hell does this moron think she is??

Oh yes, found it: EXCELLENT review:

http://www.dooyoo.co.uk/printed-books/bad-karma-confessions-of-a-reckless-traveller-in-south-east-asia-tamara-sheward/1051527/

Have to go and supervise some playdough squishing, but if you have had the misfortune to read this book, please use the links above to help you vent some of your rage.

The books came!

My Tesol books came in the mail yesterday!! Delivered out here in the sticks by my sister. Wee daughter and I are minding the caravan park for Mum while she is off galavanting.

Strangely they have provided guide books that look like workbooks and workbooks that look like novels...bit frustrating really as I would like to take the texts and workbooks with me overseas but they are too bulky. They also mention CD copies of readings and workbooks on their website but so far no sign of these...

I read through the guidelines for study last night. It was almost like starting Year 8 again: reading everything from cover to cover...(nerd!).

<-- How things were looking about midnight...yes, that is the Collins World Atlas peeking out. Despite having (briefly) been a teacher of Geography and winning a Geography competition when I was in Year 11, I still mix my Bratislavia's with my Uzbekistans...

At least I am more motivated for this course than any of my previous Tafe misadventures. The best part (now that I've read Unit 1) is that (unlike previous Tafe course) this all makes complete sense to me and I know the answers to the questions without thinking!

Apart from reading the books and worrying about whether I want to write into the workbook (it looks like a novel or a travel guide, dammit), I am looking for jobs. Oh how I hate job hunting. Plus as much as I'd like to take on a job overseas, I don't have enough money to fund travel at the moment.

Thinking about New Zealand again: managing a hostel there. I've also noticed a few jobs teaching English in NZ (more than I've noticed locally) so perhaps this would not be a bad starting point? Go and chull wuth the Kuwus fur a whulle, hehehe.

(the extent of my knowledge of all things Kiwi)

Departure blues

Perhaps it is the literature I am reading but I was dreaming last night that we were living in a different place.

My heart and mind are definitely on the move out of here. I am finding it harder and harder to feign interest in what is going on around me. My sister and her partner are planning to build a house (a mansion, really. Not bad for 2 non-professionals still under 30, but what do I know?) I do know that it strikes me as very Marie Antoinette - there are people in the world who are starving, who can't get a house, who can't read or write...anyway.

I have even started to take down my postcard wall (a staple in every house, hovel or cell-sized room I have lived in since I was 21). I wander round the house every so often and daydream about the garage sale I will have. I am even thinking about having a garage sale right now, just to get rid of the clutter.

Perhaps it is a good thing. I know it won't be easy to leave here, despite my boredom and frustration with the place. But unfortunately we have stayed here too long, tentacles of habit have wound their way into our hearts and lifestyle.

My daughter is also a lot older than I thought she would be when we left, and certainly older than she was at the start of last year when we moved to Alice Springs. She noticed the sudden disappearance of family then (her father also chose that moment to return to Scotland, so that added to her distress), I'm sure she'll notice it more this time.

Fortunately we will be going somewhere completely new that will fill up her senses and distract her. I think it will be best if I get a job quite suddenly and the departure process is fairly quick. Just like removing a Band-Aid - it seemed to work when we left for Alice Springs (I was phoned and offered the job on Saturday and we arrived by the following Tuesday).

Of course, it will not be the glorious departure back to Scotland that I have pictured in my mind over the past 3 and a half years, but it will be the beginning of that journey - with our final destination:

I went to the Library...

and actually took out a book on travel. Our netball coach gave us (my sister and I) LARGE Lonely Planet guides to Europe before we went overseas last time. Although most appreciated (as they are never cheap, despite being aimed at an impoverished target market), those bloody things lugged us down and caused all manner of catfights for probably a year before we ditched them at the hostel we managed, where they were likely stolen by somebody who I am satisfied to say will have regretted it before too long. They must've weighed about 5 kilos each.

Anyway...the problem with guidebooks is, although they are fascinating reading if you are dreaming of a life somewhere else, they date too quickly. And these days, when you can pretty much carry the internet round in your pocket, they are almost obsolete.

After I'd lived on Skye for a little while, I remember flicking through the "Isle of Skye" section in Lonely Planet and being infuriated by the inaccuracies and lame observations of the locals. I wrote to Lonely Planet and told them to sort it out. They brought out a new edition of Scotland and some of my changes were there but they didn't mention my name, which was a let down.

But I digress...

My daughter likes to go to the local Library a lot, which is great for me. They have toys and books there to occupy her while I read the paper, or drift through the aisles (usually the travel section), dreaming of our Escape. Never mind that the books never change (very small library, mostly stocked with Mills & Boon and audio copies of newspapers for the elderly), I have read Lonely Planet's "Scotland" about a million times.

The other day I decided what the heck, why not take the books out of the Library and actually read them? I picked up the Rough Guide to Travel Online, despite knowing that it would be hopelessly outdated and only serve to mislead me.

However, I was wrong. It has been quite useful. It has a whole page devoted to websites devoted to bird-watching holidays. It also has some info on single parent travel and destination guides.

I have been to them all and deleted those that are now in disfunction (so I am not always wrong!):

http://www.smallfamilies.co.uk/ (I like this one)

http://www.cyberparent.com/trips (bit old fashioned looking)

http://www.family-travel.co.uk/homepage.php

http://www.familytravelforum.com/ (looks good)

http://www.tinytravelers.net/ (part of the Family Travel Forum network; specialises in issues travelling with kids younger than 4. A great concept as it's true a lot of the other sites seem to have holidays and articles geared towards travelling with older kids)

http://www.gonomad.com/family/familyTravel.html (they even have an article on Ancestral travel in Scotland...points to them!)

http://www.themeparkinsider.com/ (not really my cup of tea)

I also found some more sites:

http://www.globalfamilyadventures.com/ (run tours to Costa Rica but possibly expanding)

http://www.sptc.org.uk/ (The Single Parent Travel Club - UK based)

At last! Some based in Australia:

http://www.holidayswithkids.com.au/single_parent_travel

http://www.byokids.com.au/

And this one is just plain weird:

http://www.parentswithoutpartners.org/ (this site must be US based - creepy pic!)

Still nowt on actually living abroad as a single parent, but the search continues...

Small families...

I think this is a lovely way of describing my family. "Lone/sole/single parent" sounds so bloody...lonely and pathetic. And "single mum", well, we all know the connotations of that one. No, I'm not 16. No, I did not have a child to get the Baby Bonus so I could buy a plasma telly...

As I started thinking seriously about going overseas to teach English, I of course turned to google to give me answers. My hours of internet trawling were fairly unproductive. I did uncover the Prague Blog http://alicia-prague-blog.blogspot.com/, by Alicia, which was hilarious and educational and made me incredibly jealous. I WISH that I could travel to Europe to do the Tesol training course as Alicia did, but with a child in tow the risk seemed too great. I would not be able to afford waiting around after the course for work. It's alright for me to live on toast (as I used to when backpacking the UK) but I don't think my daughter would be too appreciative.

I found a few sites that tackled sole parent travel. Many of them (understandably) are designed with only short breaks and holidays in mind, and some were more like dating services... There are also some articles and info on regular family travel sites for one-parent families. One of the most frustrating aspects I have found when looking into travelling (just for holidays) in the past, is the single supplement. Is it not enough that I am on my own in life, but I have to pay a fine for wanting to go on holiday alone??? Some of the trips and programs on these websites seem really interesting, so I thought I'd post them up anyway, for those of you who are interested:

UK: http://www.smallfamilies.co.uk/

This one is based in the US and has some really cheesy google ads (Cheap Divorce for $69!) but they've just revamped the site to make it clearer and less cluttered:

http://www.singleparenttravel.net/

The Family Travel Forum has a cute logo, "Have Kids, Still Travel" and a thread devoted to single parents: http://www.familytravelboards.com/forums/index.php

Which reminds me, there are issues regarding paperwork that parents need to carry when travelling alone with their child, but more on that in another post.

Fear and trepidation

My resolve is so fickle. I am so bored here, and so desperate to get away, yet when it comes to the thought of actually getting on a plane to land myself in some godforsaken part of the earth, I still tremble and quake.

Putting that aside, I must fill in some of the gaps in what I have already done in researching the great OE.

Having already taught in the UK in the past I am familiar with the myriad of teaching agencies available to 'regular' teachers (ie: primary/secondary, Bachelor of Ed trained). In the past I've dealt with Timeplan, Smart Teachers, Bluewave, ITN, TeachLondon, Protocol, AStar, Hays...the only ones I ever worked for were Protocol teachers, during my 'London sojourn'.

This time round I do not have the desire to get a job with my BEd in an international or IB school. Firstly, I feel that they will sniff at my erratic teaching experience and secondly, many of them require a minimum of 2 years commitment. The plan this time is to find ESL work, which may pay less and be a little less secure, but allows me to take a more relaxed approach - more freedom to travel and to leave after 6 months if that is where the wind is taking us.

Still, the thought of being paid squidzillions and having free accommodation and being able to teach History was quite alluring, so I re-registered with with Select Education http://www.teachanywhere.com/ who place teachers all over the world. They keep sending me their job mailers, which has an effect on me that is not unlike turning up at my Mum's when she has a roast in the oven...

Teaching English in Bratslavia, anyone? History in Holland? Nursery assistant in Korea or Nigeria?

Of course, many of the European jobs are off limits because I am cursed not to have anything EU about me, but I will rant properly about that at a later date. I also think that eventually the option of working for an International School would be a good one as it may help me to gain teaching work in Scotland. Although working as a Tesol teacher for the next year or so may actually hinder me from getting Int school jobs...frown, frown. I will just have to face that when we get there.

The good thing about the mailers is that whenever my resolve to escape falters a little, the enticing aroma of all these jobs in such delicious locations is enough to get my mojo back.

Still waiting for my course books to arrive...waiting...waiting...

The background

While my daughter is napping I have a chance to fill in some of the (currently rather hazy) details...

Saoghalbeag is Scottish Gaelic for "small world" (saoghal = world/beag = small). I travelled to the UK, like so many other Aussies, on a working holiday maker visa in 2002. Before I even set foot in the place (Scotland) I knew it was where I wanted to live forever. 3 years of drecht weather, fickle boys, midges and being the Aussie outsider did not change this. 3 and a half years in exile in Australia have still not eroded my desire to live in the best wee country in the world.

http://www.scotlandistheplace.com/

http://www.visitscotland.com/

Anyway: why aren't we there? Well, immigration is a fearful enemy and so far none of my elaborately constructed plans to return have come to fruition. Not even the fact that I have a half-Scottish child will bend the ear of the British Home Office. So we have been condemned to exile in the blistering Australian heat - in a country where green frogs live in my toilet and cockroaches clamber up the walls at night! There are wasps and snakes and spiders in the garden (and sometimes in the house!) and the heat, did I mention the heat??

I will leave my frustration, rage, feet stamping and head banging to your imagination. So many times I have cursed the place (Scotland) and wished the dream to set me free so I could try to make myself happy with life in the Aussie 'burbs; with my 4WD, plasma telly and 6 burner BBQ...

Sometimes I can be slightly mulish and it can take me a little bit of time to notice the open window because I am so busy stamping my feet and shouting at the door that has just slammed in my face. (Even when I do notice the window I have sometimes been known to continue stamping and shouting at the door).

My daughter has just turned 3, and for a long time the idea of teaching English overseas as a way of continuing the travels that were interrupted when my daughter arrived has slowly been growing on me. It was fired up last year while we were in Alice Springs as the ESL kids were the brightest and best to work with - they didn't sap me dry with apathy as the local kids did.

When I finally started googling to find out a bit more about this Tesol caper I was stunned at how much sense it made ... (but I still gave the closed door a few more swift kicks before I started trying to clamber out the window.)

And another thing...

One of the other reasons I am determined to keep up with my blog is for others in my situation who are thinking about living and working abroad with their child. Eventually I hope some of them might start to come out of the woodwork and post comments so we can share our experiences, but I haven't even started the course yet so let's not get too excited.

Soon after my realisation that simply thinking about getting away had ceased to satisfy me, and I made plans to really escape, I went to my trusty google search to find other one parent families who had blazed a trail before me (naturally so I could copy everything they did and not have to jump off the deep end myself).

Annoyingly, there is precious little info out there for single parents with mad intentions of dragging their offspring to the ends of the earth.

The information that is out there is geared towards Stepford families with a male who has a stunningly successful role with some international corporation and a wife who's only worries are whether the local nanny will get in her way as she lounges about the house.

Even googling "single parent holidays abroad" did not produce much, except one website who condescended to have a page about one parent travelling with children but this was a much older mum with teenage kids so not much use to me.

I posted some threads on ThornTree (Lonely Planet's travel forum) and was surprised at the number of mums who wrote back about their desire to live overseas with their children, their frustration at the lack of information and their confusion about the safest and best path to take to realise their goals.

I have not even left Australia yet so I am no expert but hopefully by documenting my experience of taking a 3 year old on my OE I may be able to fill a little bit of that information black hole.

Here's the thread at Lonely Planet...
http://www.lonelyplanet.com/thorntree/thread.jspa?threadID=1651298&start=0&tstart=0

The purposeful blogger

I am torn trying to decide WHO exactly I am blogging for.

Initially the idea of the blog was to upload pictures/photos and info on our travels so that people and family at home could read about our adventures.

However, thinking about it, I realised that if I am blogging for family I will have to censor my posts. Can't have them knowing how I really think/feel/behave.

If I am not blogging for family I have more freedom in what I write, but nowhere to direct the folks at home for updates and photos when our travels actually start, thus defeating the original purpose of the blog...yet I don't want to write if I have to censor myself.

Perhaps when I am 5000 miles away from my family I will feel more comfortable with who I am and not care about what they think when reading my thoughts and adventures??

Yeah, right.

Today is the day

Today I gave money to the Language Training Institute who are going to (eventually) grant me my TESOL certification.

Having spent the past 3 years and 5 months trawling the net, boring people witless and banging my head against brick walls trying to find ways of getting back to Scotland, it feels quite strange to be making plans to travel somewhere else.

It is scary, in fact. That little dream of life forever in Scotland has kept me chortling along through some dark, very dark, days.

Hell, thoughts of Scotland (Isle of Skye particularly) got me through 12 hours of labour.

Yes, that's right. There has been a small person following me round and calling me 'mother' for a couple of years now.

Deireadh, deireadh an Turas

The end, the end of the journey.

I suppose it's a good thing to start out with the final destination in mind.

This is it:

I can't sit around waiting anymore - it is driving me batty and making me bitter and cynical before my time.